dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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