Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
