I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
