Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
