Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
