You don't have asthma, your pregnant
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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