um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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