i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
