the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
