He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
