'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
