I faked an abortion last night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
