two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
