I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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