dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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