Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
