everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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