I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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