My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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