he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
