i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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