it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
