apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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