how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I did not marry a roomba.
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