If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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