Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
