I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
