In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
