Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
