ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
