Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
