I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
