I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
