We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
