I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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