we're making bets on your personal life
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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