On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
