my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
