Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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