playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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