I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
