how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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