fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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