Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Small penises have feelings too.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
