ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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