Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
