i was rollin on her like bob the builder
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
