her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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