oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We're too hungover to prance.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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