Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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