No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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