We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
did i just pee glitter
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
