I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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