naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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