Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
