Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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