pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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